Arizona

You told me I was apathetic,
But I didn’t care.
I lost my mind in Arizona —
Can’t remember where.

While drowning in your irony,
I cannot swim ashore.
You ask if I can stay awhile,
But then you slam the door.

You say I love myself too much —
I say I love myself and I love you.
(You know I love that big ol’ butt —
I know you love my average penis too.)

While drowning in your irony,
How can I swim ashore?
Why ask if I can stay awhile
When you’ll just slam the door?

Sometimes you think I’m such a bore,
Because I never dance.
Sometimes I wonder why you stay
When I take off my pants.

Sometimes I think you’re such a whore,
And you think I’m a schmuck.
Sometimes I’m right — sometimes you are . . .
Sometimes we’re both in luck.

While drowning in your irony,
How can I swim ashore?
You ask if I can stay awhile
Then slam the goddamn door.

We killed some time in Arizona —
Lost my mind down there.
We killed that mime who grabbed your ass —
And no one seemed to care. . . .