Humor for Adults
Who Can Handle
Adult Humor
— by Len Kennedy, Esq.
Excerpts
’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have known what it’s like to have sex with someone besides oneself.
Premature ejaculation is the sincerest form of flattery.
A recent Gallup poll asked whether adultery should be a punishable crime. 51% of the respondents said yes. The men, however, disagreed.
You don’t know what you’ve got till your wife cuts it off and feeds it to the chickens.
I’ve often wondered whether a thousand chimps plinking away on a thousand typewriters could eventually come up with a play as good as Shakespeare’s Hamlet — until Lynyrd Skynyrd somehow managed to write the song “Freebird.”
Never kick a guy in the balls just because he called you a bitch. Do it before he gets the chance.
One man’s frozen sperm is another man’s low-carb ice cream.
Concentration camps don’t necessarily improve one’s concentration.
Whoever said “Honesty is the best policy” was probably a compulsive liar.
Though I normally miss a woman’s subtle flirtations, I had a feeling Miss Jones was hitting on me when she stuck her tongue up my ass.
It’s ironic that we call swearing adult language when it’s usually the “adults” who get offended by it.
I remember the time I accidentally slipped into a manhole — since then, I’ve been very wary of cross-dressers.
It’s only polite to say “Excuse me” after you’ve accidentally rear-ended someone because you weren’t watching where you were going. Especially if you’re in a bathhouse.
Table of Contents
Prologue: The Period: Dickens Redux
Epilogue: Quirky Colloquy: A Play in One Act
About the Author
Essential Links
joefrank.com: Joe Frank is the reason I started writing in the first place. Visit his website, listen to his shows, and give him all your money. This man is an icon.
The Onion: America’s Finest News Source™: The funniest satire since the New Testament.
FemJoy.com: My penis’s favorite website. :) The best things in life are not always free. Erene, Jenni, and Angela are absolutely amazing — and each of these girls alone is well worth the price of admission.
I have a Facebook! Yay! 
There will soon be a comment form here, where you can leave inappropriate comments. But until I actually get around to putting it here, you’re going to have to settle for a smiley peeing in the snow. . . .
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© Copyright 1997–2009 Len Kennedy. All Rights Reserved.