Last Sunday, a Hasidic Jew
Said everything that rhymes is true,
Like “I have a penis and Christ had one too —
But to keep mine attached, I require no glue,”
     and
“Last night, I dreamt that LSD
Was available in suppositories;
I woke up, just now, on my hands and knees,
And my fingers are brown . . .
And my butt tastes like cheese,”
     and
“I once was in love with a woman named Kelly,
But she was in love with a monkey named Sally,
And one time I caught them in bed in an alley,
So I drowned them both in petroleum jelly,”
     and
“A pen is a penis, a penis a pen —
She won’t know the difference when you stick it in,”
     and
“I like to stick sharp spikes through my eyes —
Though this sentence rhymes, it still is a lie.”